| Okay, Brittney. |
[Sep. 2nd, 2007|02:29 am] |
I'm so excited for tomorrow. PRACTICE. DRUMS. FRIENDS. JACKI. It'll be a good day.
SO PSYCHED. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2007|01:16 am] |
I want to replace my 9000 pedals with BOA pedals. I want two hi-hats. I want two different sized chinas. I want to set my drums up in such a fashion that I may play ambidextrously. I want to be able to play ambidextrously. I want to retune everything, again. I want to not want to retune everything every week. I want two ride cymbals. I want more money. I want a place where I can play, and record my drums, on a whim. I want to tell my bandmates my ideas, without feeling like I'm wasting my time. I want to re-write everything I've written. I want my own solo project. I want more time. I want to write music for my band. I want my band to succeed. I want people to wake up. I want to be more creative. I want to be more emotional. I can go on and on...
I WANT SO MUCH, AND I CAN'T HAVE IT ALL.
I need my priorities straight. I need to get out. I need to pay off my drum bill. I need my own car. I need to eat healthier. I need a better job. I need to get my life on track. I need to persue my dreams. I need to get serious.
ERIC HOLLE, THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL. DING FUCKING DONG. WAKE UP. GET GOING. DON'T JUST FORGET. DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING. DO SOMETHING. DO ANYTHING.
*sigh* I need to stop wasting precious time. I need help. But can anyone help me? I think I'm the only one who can save myself.
Am I going crazy? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2007|01:51 am] |
10 things you did today
1. Woke.
2. Myspaced.
3. Showered.
4. Shaved.
5. Got dressed.
6. Did my makeup.
7. Got gas.
8. Picked up Jacki.
9. Ate T-Bell.
10. Watched School for Scoundrels.
9 things you love
1. Jaclyn.
2. Art (including music).
3. My makeup skills, sometimes.
4. Tax returns.
5. Having a mode of transportation.
6. Friends.
7. The internet.
8. Yeah, sleep's up there too.
9. Being happy.
8 things you hate
1. Apathy.
2. Being poor.
3. Being sick.
4. Smoke.
5. Being tired and having to stay awake.
6. Being awake when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
7. When my shoulders hurt.
8. Confrontation.
7 things you want to do before you die
1. Tour.
2. Live off my music.
3. Enhance thousands of lives.
4. Buy my own house.
5. Buy my own car.
6. Acquire any and all pieces of equipment I could ever want.
7. Kids. Maybe.
6 things you are wearing
1. Bowie shirt.
2. Favorite pants, Lip Service Stretch Fuckin' Twill Bondage pants, with a Cure patch on my ass because they're falling apart because I wear them so much..
3. Grey and black striped stockings.
4. Black sparkley nail polish.
5. MAC makeup.
6. Blingy 7/16 plugs.
5 things you ate today
1. Seven layer burrito -chs -scrm +guac.
2. Shaw's italian bread.
3. Another seven layer?.
4.
5.
4 things you want to do this year
1. Record.
2. Mini-tour.
3. Add to my kit.
4. Get better at drums.
3 things you wish could do
1. Be ambidextrous.
2. Make everyone happy.
3. Make my own music by myself, and be happy with it.
2 things you would never do
1. Never say never.
2.
1 thing you can't live without
1. Art (including music). |
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| Alright kiddies. |
[Feb. 8th, 2007|12:20 am] |
EIGHT lasts
8. last cigarette: Neverever.
7. last beverage: Chocolate Silk.
6. last phone call: Sleeping Jacki.
4. last cd played: Something by 36CF.
3. last BUBBLE bath: Before I had pubes.
2. last time you cried: I don't remember. Probably traumatic.
1. last meal: Twisty danish thingies. The vegan ones. Yeah.
SEVEN have you's:
7. have you ever dated someone twice? Tecnically.
6. have you ever had to fill in a question that someone previously deleted from a quiz? Mhm.
5. have you ever kissed someone & regreted it? I'm sure I have. What was the point? I've completely forgotten about it. Haha.
4. have you ever fallen in love?: Derr.
3. have you ever lost someone?: Lost is a broad term. Also, this question is pretty lame.
2. is a missing question, apparently.
1. have you ever had a heartbreak? Oh have I.
SIX things you did in the last three days:
six: Well... if you read Jacki's quiz, you know... ;-).
five: Ditto.
four: Ditto.
three: Ditto.
two: Got my eyebrows plucked.
one: Jacki Jacki. Jackijacki.
list FOUR people you can tell pretty much anything to:
1. Just.
2. About.
3. Any.
4. One.
THIS YEAR... (as in this year 2007)
Made a new friend
Mhm.
Fallen out of love
Nope.
Laughed until you cried
I ached pretty hard.
Went behind your parents' back
No need.
Met someone who changed your life
Not really.
Found out who your true friends were?
No.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
1. Bush?
Plain pathetic.
2. Gay marriage?
Who cares about marriage in the first place?
4. Straight, Gay, Bi?
Straight. But who can tell?
5. Who is the best hugger that you know?
Jacki's the only one that comes to mind.
6. Do you believe in love at first sight?
It's happened.
7. Is there something you want to tell someone?
Yes.
8. what kind of shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing three.
11. How many kids do you want to have?
I really don't know.
12. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
With my mom, yeah.
13. Do you wanna change your name?
I wouldn't know what to change it to.
14. What did you do for your last birthday?
Worked.
15. What time did you wake up today?
10ish.
16. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Setting up basses.
17. Name something you CANNOT wait to do
Exist.
18. Last time you saw your father
I saw a picture of him a few months ago. Aside from that... I think I was seven.
19. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?
I wish I had more drive. I wish I would try harder. I wish I would accomplish anything.
20. Which hand do you like better?
Left, because it's imperfect, and I'll always be able to improve it.
21.What are you listening to right now?
I was listening to Glassjaw in my head.
23. Have you ever donated money to a good cause?
Yeah, Shaw's takes it out of my checks.
24. Have you ever talked about someone behind their back?
Yup.
25. What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone?
It was Jacki's bondage straps.
26. Who's getting on your nerves right now?
Me.
27.most visited website?
Der.
29.Coke or Pepsi?:
Currently, none of the above. Prior to now, Cherry Pepsi.
30. Do you have a crush?
Jacki.
32. Do you disagree with a lot of things going on in the world?
Everything, basically.
33. Do you think there's some models/people out there that should gain a couple pounds?
Yes.
34. Do you enjoy your friendship with your friends?
Der. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2006|02:34 am] |
I feel absoltely fucking gutted. And I'm probably just overreacting.
Grace doesn't ever talk to me anymore. And it seems like she started being more distant after her photo shoot with Jack Silver.
She raved about the shoot, and gushed about Jack. I got a little jealous, but didn't think much of it. I even confronted her about my jealousy, and assured me that I was being absurd. "He takes naked photos of hundreds of girls every year." "He's just flirty, and so am I."
Okay, alright, that's fine. I talked to Jack, he seemed nice. I even talked about having a photoshoot with him. Then, mysteriously, he stopped appearing on my buddylist. I tried rationalizing that by telling myself that he probably has no internet where he's staying now, cause he metioned going to Florida for a few weeks, or something. But what if he blocked me? For what reason? I'll get back to that.
The night she came to my house after the shoot, something was definitely wrong. Looking back, I think something may have happened during the shoot. Like I said, I'm probably just overreacting.
She does a survey and posts it on myspace, and talks about how she hung out with Jack, and another model, who lives minutes away from me. Now, I had absolutely no knowledge of this, and it came to a shock to me that she'd be in the area, and not even tell me. I won't lie, it really fucking hurt. But I convinced myself that I was overreacting.
I noticed, her photoset hasn't appeared on the OPD site. I keep checking, and there are still no updates. What might that have anything to do with this? I'm not sure, but it just seems fishy to me. It's been weeks.
Jack recently posted a long blog about seeking a muse. What of it? What if Grace wants this position? Am I being irrational?
I got my license finally, which most of my friends were really excited for me about. What did Grace have to say? "Congrats." It's like she doesn't even care! She swears she does. But she hasn't done anything lately that even remotely shows any sign of caring. She won't even talk to me. She doesn't even seem like she wants to see me.
She didn't even want to be touched by me after the shoot.
Here's the topping on the cake:
I went to Jack's deviantart page, and it was updated, not only with pictures from Florida, I presume, but also with a "webcam" photo of Grace, with HIS name written on her chest.
What am I supposed to think? I'm shaking, and I want to call her right this second, but I'm afraid I might just be completely overracting. Either way, something has got to change, because I just can't live like this. I can't.
I love her so much, and it all seems completely useless, and unreturned. And I just want to die every second I think about it. I just want to die. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 20th, 2006|09:16 am] |
The only way I can meet up with Liz is if I find her in line at NIN, and chill with her there. I get out of work at 4, and probably leave my house for TDEP/AFI at 4:30. The NIN show is at 7. *sigh* better luck next time.
Bleaching my hair was somewhat successful. My hair is only orange when it's wet, and it's golden blonde when it's dry, except my roots, which are the white I want. I definitely tore a bunch of my hair trying to get my fingers through it while it was still wet though. And I used this "rinse" stuff that eliminates gold tones and such, and it made part of my hair purple. So, I washed that out this morning, so work wouldn't decapitate me. Which I'm not even sure they'd do.
I woke up and it feels like something's in my left eye, and it itches hardcore. No redness yet though. At least I won't show up to work looking high like the few times I've done that. Also, my lip near the right ring is a bit swollen. Doesn't hurt, just swollen. Must've slept on it wrong?
Time to eat breakfast. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2006|08:21 am] |
I had a dream last night/this morning. The only parts I can remember was Grace posting online while she was apparently high, about being high. Right. And also, going to my old school, and jamming with some of the alumni, and really impressing them. Oh, and the schools jazz kit had some weird contraption on the front of it that opened and closed... it was weird, and gridlike. And the set was much deeper than it ever really was.
Today, I'm going to Amherst for vegan breakfast with Rob F. I can't afford it. But, whatever. *Splurge*.
I have work at noon, so, hopefully we'll make it home for in time for that.
I might bleach my hair some more, after work.
I need a haircut, but I'm definately afraid of getting one.
I need to find a nice full time job.
I need to move.
I need food.
Me me me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2006|11:41 pm] |
I woke up, unusually happy. Things are great. I'm playing my drums almost every day, which is making me excel faster than I ever have. I can do blast beats! My friend is trying to teach me the free-hand playing technique, A.K.A. hyper-blast, where you're moving your stick up and down against the rim, and the tip of the stick is hitting the drum at twice the speed of your hand. So basically, you're doing a drumroll with one hand.
For those who don't know, I'm in the process of bleaching my hair to a pale blonde/white. It's orange right now, so, it sucks. But It'll look good when I finally get it... less orange.
I'm seeing AFI/Dillinger Escape Plan on Tuesday. That should be fun. I'm meeting a bunch of my DF buddies there.
Liz is in the area, so, I will undoubtedly hang out with her.
I might be modeling soon.
And best of all, I'm in love. <3. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2006|12:57 pm] |
I'm alive.
I might start updating more often. I realize that if I don't write shit down, I can't reminice about it, :-P.
But now. Work. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|05:41 pm] |
1. If you could be fluent in another language, what would it be?
Latin, or any dead language, or my own language.
2. What's your favourite number?
I have like... 30 of them.
3. Favourite flavour tea?
PSH! CHAI!
4. What's the most embarassing cd you own?
CD? Probably this Ren & Stimpy one. If you're talking tapes, then all my old KoRn and Limp Bizkit tapes definitely take the cake.
5. Subtitles or dubs?
Subtitles. Hell, I even put them on during english films.
And so you:
1. Leave me a comment, begging for me to interview you.
2. I will ask you 5 questions of whatever the hell I wanna ask you.
3. You update your journal with your answers, like how I did it.
4. You post rules that similarly state these rules in your post.
5. And then you interview those who asked to be. In your post. Duh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2006|01:04 pm] |
What is an LJ nudge? How do I send one?
I recieved one from a friend. So, I guess I'll update.
Uhh...
Been thinking lately about my productivity, or lack thereof. I really want to write music, make art of some kind, ANYTHING, but I don't know exactly how to start, and I'm afraid of not finishing whatever I do start.
I've been thinking.
More later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2006|02:52 am] |
| [ | music |
| | My lack of confidence, filling the air. | ] |
In the morning, everything will be forgotten, and I can go back to being my normal, docile self.
But right now, I don't feel nice. I feel like a tool. And it makes me sick.
But in the morning, I'll re-read this, and convince my self that I was overreacting.
Which comes to a question:
What's the use of standing up for yourself, if you truly believe that there's nothing left worth standing up for?
I'm pathetic.
(This is probably getting deleted in the morning, I just need to vent.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|12:30 pm] |
|
Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 Guilty Pleasures" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 Guilty Pleasures as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
1. Hanging out with Lake more than any of my other friends.
2. Playing bass excessively.
3. Calling out of work.
4. Sitting on the computer for hours at a time.
5. Spending my money on silly exspensive things. (Food bars, Naked, bass pedal, bass guitars, Starbucks.)
Um... hmm... ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pumpkinsoup , xransomx , jerry_reigns , indigae , no_deseado.</span>
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|12:02 pm] |
[x] name: Eric
[x] sex: Yes.
[x] occupation: Lately, bassist. Overall, musician. In reality, cashier at Shaw's.
[x] favorite people: My friends.
[x] favorite place to be: Playing music, somewhere.
[x] favorite color(s): What's that? :-P Nah, um... I go through phases.
[x] three main interests: Music, my friends, internet, HA!
[x] your house is: an apartment with paper thin walls.
[x] describe yourself in four words: Non-confrontational, musician, skinny, weird.
_______Rewind_______
[x] most memorable memory: Hmm... I have a few.
[x] worst: Urg, I have a few.
[x] favorite word of all time: Can't choose.
[x] first best friend ever: First? The first I can remember is Chris Redmond in AZ.
[x] first fuck: I was 16. It lasted an hour.
_______Love?_______
[x] love is: pain.
[x] are you in love: *sigh*.
[x] love or lust?: They both have perks and setbacks.
[x] when love hurts, you: Listen to the Cure, and contemplate, and sleep. Those three things, and nothing else.
[x] true or false:
[x] is there such thing as love at first sight? I believe so.
[x] if someone fucks you over, you: am mad at first, but I let it slide, eventually.
_______Opposite Sex_______
[x] turn ons: Physical: Skinnyness, eyes, face, hair. Other: Taste, eloquence, personality.
[x] your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: No, not really.
[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?: Let me play music for them. Be affectionate.
[x] tall or short: Short!
[x] looks or smarts: A balance of the both.
[x] are you the type of person to HOLLA and ask for numbers?: Heyall yizzle, mah nizzle. On second thought, no.
_______Picky Picky_______
[x] best pets: Nah.
[x] short or long hair: I don't care. My hair is long.
[x] sunshine or rain: Overcast, but no rain. Or just rain.
[x] ink or piercings: Both. Der.
[x] hugs or kisses: Both.
[x] straight edge or druggy: C'mon. Seriously.
[x] snail mail or e-mails: Either.
[x] playstation or nintendo: PS.
[x] car or skateboard: I like both for different reasons.
[x] best place for a photo shoot: Abandoned warehouse, or, I don't know. Somewhere creepy.
[x] sing or dance: Sing!
_______Lately_______
[x] how are you today? Meh.
[x] what pants are you wearing right now?: My tight "model" pants.
[x] What shirt are you wearing right now? A FIRE INSIDE, black shirt with a woman floating beneath the water, and a grey and black striped sweater underneath.
[x] what does your hair look like at the moment? Tucked behind my ears.
[x] what song are you listening to right now? My mom lighting a cigarette, ewww.
[x] last dream you can remember? Hmm... I don't remember. I think Grace was in it, and we were at her school. That's all I remember.
[x] who are you talking to right now? Talking? No one.
[x] what time is it? 1:52 AM.
_______More About YOU!_______
[x] if you were a crayon, what colors would you be? Um... the missing one.
[x] what's the next CD you are going to buy? I don't know.
[x] what's the best advice ever given to you? I don't know.
[x] what's the stupidest thing you have ever done? Hit my face on a chair. On purpose. Thinking it would be much softer than it was.
[x] how many kids do you want to have? I don't know. Probably none.
[x] plan on getting married? Not really.
[x] what are you most scared of? Most? Oh! Brad ruining my bass, because he's the one working on it, hahaha.
[x] how many TV's do you have in your house? Four.
[x] vegan, veggie or carnivore: Vegan.
[x] have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone? Yep.
[x] who do you dream about?: Everyone.
[x] who do you tell your dreams to? Everyone.
[x] your boyfriend/girlfriend is: Jill, A.K.A. Handgela, A.K.A. my hand.
[x] your body type is: Skinnnnnnnnny.
[x] eyes: Blue
[x] skin color: Pale.
[x] in school: No.
[x] pet peeves: Lots. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|12:51 pm] |
 | | The Gentleman
Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMm)
Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.
For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.
It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.
Your exact opposite:
The Last Man on Earth
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer
| Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. She is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced. Avoid the The Battleaxe at all fucking costs.
CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, someone just like you. |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: Eric_the_Dead |
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